


Not everything ends. Not love. Not always

by ohyouwatchusrun



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-14
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 21:15:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohyouwatchusrun/pseuds/ohyouwatchusrun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'It had been two years; two years since she walked out of his life and didn't even stop to look back. Two years and not for one second has he stopped missing her. It pains him still to think back to how happy they were before that, how utterly and completely in love they were, and pains him further when he thinks back to how it all so tragically ended, for a reason he never really understood and one that she never really explained.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not everything ends. Not love. Not always

It had been two years; two years since she walked out of his life and didn’t even stop to look back. Two years and not for one second has he stopped missing her. It pains him still to think back to how happy they were before that, how utterly and completely in love they were, and pains him further when he thinks back to how it all so tragically ended, for a reason he never really understood and one that she never really explained.

 When she had left, his life had gone drastically down-hill. His acting took a huge downfall. He’s sure Steven came extremely close to writing his regeneration, not that he would have cared, because the day Alex left, she called Steven and told him he better think of something clever to write her out because she wouldn’t be coming back. Doctor Who was never the same again for him, not after she left. Nothing was the same.

As well as that, he lost touch with all of his friends, keeping himself isolated in his apartment and only ever leaving for work events and occasionally to get some food. He pushed his family away and was so _so_ alone for such a long time. And now, when he’s just getting his life together again, she’s there, stunning as ever, standing across the room in Steven’s large home and his shattered heart breaks just that little bit more. He should have thought really, of course she would be there, but he _hadn’t_ thought, and now, he doesn’t know what to do.

She hasn’t noticed him yet and he’s grateful for that because he’s missed that smile, and he knows that when she sees him, that will all change. So he stands on the other side of the room, watching as she converses with Sue, and when he looks at her now, it’s like nothing has changed. She looks just as she always has. The only thing that is different than before is the slightly darker hair, that magnificent hair. Other than that she looks the same. He studies her face, and she has not aged a bit, not like him, while she looks extremely good for her age, Matt looks 10 years the senior to his actual age.

Alex finally looks up and across the room, she looks right at him and as he guessed, the smile falls right from her face, not for long though, she soon puts her walls up and builds a very unrealistic smile that he can see right through. It’s then that he notices, she is not exactly the same. The 3 years they were together, Matt watched every day as slowly, that pain disappeared from her eyes. Now though, it’s all back. He can see _so much_ pain in her eyes and she looks _tired_ now, like she’s ready to give up. He hates that, he doesn’t care about his happiness, but hers, he would do anything if he thought it would make her smile. If she was happy, whether it be because of him or not, if she was happy then he would find a way to be happy for her.

He smiles at her because it’s all he can do. When she walked away he wanted to be so angry at her, he so badly wanted to ring her and scream, but instead he left loving messages, text her all the time letting her know that he still loved her, never to get a reply. He could never be mad at her, sure she broke his heart but he _loves_ her, still now, she is all he thinks about. And it hurts him, it hurts so much to know that she probably never thinks about him.

Deciding that trying to avoid each other all evening would be ridiculous and knowing that he can’t leave because Steven would not be impressed and he’s caused enough trouble for that man, Matt heads towards Alex, and he can see, it’s actually _visible,_ when she realises and stiffens completely.

“Hi” he says with a nervous smile as he stands in front of her, with trembling hands.

She looks up at him and he looks in to her eyes, the eyes that he has missed gazing in to, the eyes he has missed getting lost in. She smiles weakly at him and it’s full of pain and regret, and although he hates that, the bitter part of him is relieved that it isn’t just him.

 

“Hello” she replies, before leaning up and placing a light kiss to his cheek. Matt is sure that his heart stops, because he has wanted nothing more for two years, than to just be close to her again, feel her lips on his skin, breathe in the wonderful scent that is so _Alex._ She still wears the same floral perfume that she always has and the nostalgia it brings is overwhelming. It makes him think back to that awful day, when the only thing she left behind was the smell of her perfume on his sheets.

_\---_

_“Lex, I’m home” Matt called out as he walked through the door of his apartment. Something was different though, he didn’t know what, not yet but something had changed since he left that morning._

_“Alex?” he called out again but got no reply, he looked in the kitchen first, where he often found her baking when he came home from work late, but there were no signs of life, anywhere. Deciding she must be in the bedroom he headed down the small hallway and opened the door._

_And there she was, sitting at the edge of his bed, a suitcase either side of her and tears streaming down her face. Confusion and worry took over Matt as he walked towards her and knelt down, taking her hands in his, but she stiffened at his touch._

_“Wh-what’s the matter? What’s happened?” he asked, concern obvious in his tone._

_Alex pulled her hand from his and stood up, “I’m leaving. I thought I should wait till you came back” she near whispered, tears obvious in her voice._

_Matt  was so confused, confused as to why she was so upset and why she had packed all her stuff. “What? Why? Where are you going? Love, what’s happened?” he asked, frantic, getting up to stand in front of her._

_“I’m going back to LA” she said, her face straight, the way it had been since he walked in._

_“Why Alex, what’s happened? Talk to me for God sakes, when are you coming back?” he was beginning to get frustrated, she wasn’t telling him anything, he didn’t understand what was going on. When he had left for work that morning, everything was fine, he’d kissed her goodbye and promised to be back before late and he was. So what had happened?_

_“Never” she said softly, “I’m not coming back. Not here anyway.”_

_He lets out a nervous laugh at that, still utterly confused and she is giving him nothing._

_“Okay, you’re going to need to talk to me now because I have no idea what you’re talking about, what do you_ mean _you’re not coming back? Wh- what the hell are you talking about Lex?!” He all but shouts, frustration taking over._

_Whenever Alex talks though, her voice remains soft and calm. “I can’t do it anymore, I just- let’s be honest Matt, this was never going to be forever.”_

_The confusion before was nothing, compared to what he feels now, because_ what is she saying? _He doesn’t understand where this has come from, what has happened to make her say that._

_“You’re really fucking worrying me now Alex. What do you mean ‘this was never going to be forever’? Yes it was, it is. This is forever._

_She smiles then, but it’s different, it’s wrong, it’s bitter. “I saw this today” she says walking over and picking up a magazine before bringing it back and placing it in Matts hand. “I think it pretty much explains everything, I really thought you were different,  I loved you…”_

_Matt looks down at the magazine she had just given him, one of those gossip magazines, and on the cover was a very large photo of him and Daisy, showing Daisy placing a kiss to his cheek, with a head line reading ‘Has smith finally realised how much better he can do?’ The anger he feels reading that is like none he has ever experienced before. Alex takes the handles of her suitcases and goes to walk away, but Matt is quick to realise and runs to stand in front of her, holding the magazine up._

_“This” he points to the photo of him and daisy “Is nothing, it’s fucking crap Alex, you know better that to read this shit.” He says waving the magazine frantically in front of her, and she doesn’t even blink, she just stares, emotionless._

_“Is that you?” she asks pointing to the photo, very obviously him, and he nods. “And is this Daisy?” she asks pointing to the picture and Matt nods again._

_“Yes, that’s me and yes, that is Daisy, but it’s a peck on the bloody cheek Alex, I bumped in to her the other day, we exchange ‘hello’s’ and ‘how have you been’s’ and then we went our separate ways. What has gotten in to you, you never read this bollocks.”_

_“It may be nothing, but you read that article and tell me it doesn’t seem like it could be true. The way they talk about you and her, talking about you and her sleeping together. It makes me sick. And then I realised that what we have, it’s pointless, you were never going to stick around for long. I can’t give you what you need, and she”, she says gesturing to the front of the magazine “can.”_

_Matt could not believe what he was hearing, three years they had been together now, and it wasn’t always easy, hell a lot of the time it was really fucking difficult but they always made it work, because they loved each other so what had changed? It was only a peck on the cheek, the way he would greet Karen or his bloody sister, it meant nothing._

_Staring at her shocked and so, so scared he reaches out to push the hair back from her face, and is so grateful when she leans In to his touch instead of pulling away. He goes to talk but she gets there first._

_“I thought about this all day and it’s what is best for both of us, you can go and find someone, maybe try again with Daisy, and I’ll go back to LA and be with my little girl. I waited for you to come back because I couldn’t just leave, not you. I am so sorry Matt, but I’ve got to go, my flights in 2 hours and I have to get to the airport. Don’t follow me, and don’t call.” She has to stop to breathe tears refusing to stop spilling down her cheeks, and then she looks at him and he’s the same, eyes red and looking as if he’s trying to say something but he can’t get it out. Her heart breaks then, this isn’t what she wants, not really, but it’s for the best. At least that’s what she keeps telling herself._

_“Please,” Matt eventually gets out, “Lex, sweetheart you can’t leave. I love you, I don’t want anything else, I don’t need anything else I just need you. Please don’t leave” he begs, actually begs falling to his knees and wrapping his arms around her abdomen and placing his wet cheek against her stomach. She has to look away, she can’t watch that._

_“I’m sorry darling, but this just isn’t meant to be. You deserve someone who can give you everything you deserve. That isn’t me. I’m sorry.” She bends down and places a kiss to his forehead before pulling out of his embrace and heading for the door._

_He tries to get up, to run after her but he can’t move, he’s stuck, so he calls out. “Alex! Come back I’m sorry!” he calls out for what seems like ever but she doesn’t come back._

 

_After hours of just sitting in the spot, trying to get hold of her, to tell her he needs her and that she has to come back. He rings more times than he can remember and leaves an answer phone message every time, telling her how much he loves her and how sorry he is. He sends her dozens of texts, begging her to just come back. Eventually he gets himself up and walks over to his bed, their bed that they shared for so long. He falls down on the side she always slept and breathed in the smell of her, his Alex, closing his eyes and wishing for her to just come back, turn up at his door and just smile that wonderful smile at him. He wishes for that every night after she leaves. But she never comes._

 

 ---

 

He comes back to himself when he realises how long he had been staring at her. He didn’t know what to say, he spent so long thinking of the day he’d see her again and all of the things he would say, and now he couldn’t think of anything.

“How- how have you been?” he asks, nervously running a hand though his hair and he doesn’t miss the way she smiles lightly at him as he does it.

“You know,” she says glancing nervously around the room, “I’ve been good, you?” she asks and he almost laughs at how obvious it is that she hasn’t been fine, just as he isn’t and he isn’t going to lie about it either.

“Miserable” he says bluntly and he notices the way she flinches and looks away.

“You look tired” she says quietly and he laughs bitterly.

“Yeah, well I haven't really slept well at all since… well since you left really.”

“Matt darling” she begins and he smiles at the term of endearment, how he has longed to hear her voice.  “I am so, so sorr-”

“It’s okay Lex, its fine. You don’t need to do that, I don’t need you to apologise. Like they say ‘you can’t force someone to fall in love with you’” he says with a small laugh, “and who can blame you really, look at you, and then look at me.” He says reaching out and tucking a stray curl behind her ear. He revels in the way she doesn’t step away from his touch, all he wants to do is take her face in his hands and kiss her, and hold her. It’s all he has wanted for two years and he has to use every strength he has to not pull her in to him.

The look of shock on her face puzzles him, and he is sure he can see the slight glaze of tears in her eyes.

“You think, what happened those years ago, happened because I didn’t love you?” she asks a look of hurt flashing across her face, and it’s like the two of them have forgotten everyone else around them, all he can see is her and all she can see is him.

“Why else Lex, why else would you leave?” he asks voice calm and soft.

He watches as Alex shakes her head and closes her eyes tightly as if to stop tears from falling. “We need to talk” she whispers but she’s close enough for him to hear her. “Not here though, you still have your apartment here?” she asks and he nods. He doesn’t tell her though that the only reason he  kept that shabby place, was because it was the only place he had left that he could be, and remember all the times they shared.

“Can we go there, are you allowed to leave?” she questions looking up at him and smiling, and he knows she is trying so hard to fight back tears.

“I’m not supposed to leave” he says, knowing that he really doesn’t give a shit about weather Steven gets annoyed at him.

“Oh” she whispers looking down at the floor and biting on her bottom lip.

“Hey,” he says placing his finger under her chin and lifting her face so she’s looking at him. “When do I ever listen to Steven eh?” he says smiling at her and she laughs. His heart speeds up instantly, because _that_ laugh, how he has yearned to hear that laugh.

“My car’s out front. Go and get your coat and say your goodbyes and I’ll meet you out there.” He says, then turns to walk towards the front door.

 

Matt gets in to his car and lets out a deep breath, part of him is relieved. Not because everything’s changed. Because it hasn’t, not at all, she still left and it has still been a very long time. But he has always felt that she never explained well enough to him, why she was leaving. The reasons she gave just never justified it for him, he was so frustrated for so long, all he wanted to do was figure out where he went wrong. Why she left him all on his own, and now he wouldn’t let her leave again until he found out.

 

 

\---

 

 

The drive to his apartment is quiet and awkward, nothing like the way they used to be together. It used to be so different, but then, a lot has changed since then. Matt pulls up in his space outside the block of apartments and Alex follows him up, without a word shared. When they get to his apartment though, she’s the one to break the silence. She toes off her shoes and speaks without turning to look at him as he closes the door.

“You must hate me.” She says voice shy and scared, he hates that. He wants to tell her that he could never hate her, he never even thought of hating her, but for him, tonight is about honesty, saying the things they were never able to say before.

“I wanted to, for so long I wished that I could just hate you. I thought maybe it would help you know? But it was impossible, as much as I tried I could _never_ hate you.”

She turns around then looking at him, and he can tell how nervous she is just from the look in her eyes.

“You know _why_ I wanted to hate you so much?” he asks and she looks back away from him.

“Because I left” she mumbles staring down at her hands.

“Not exactly” he says clearly and she looks up, “Because Lex, you never told me, not- not really. You left for no good reason, and it tore me apart. For so long I wondered  why it was that you left. I wondered what I had done to make you hate me so much as to just leave, and I know you gave your reasons, but they weren’t _real_ reasons. You left like I meant nothing to you and it near killed me. I never thought I was going to be okay again.” He realises then, how much he had to say. He had become so accustomed to just pushing it all to the back of his mind and locking it away, that he hadn’t realised how much anger he had. Not towards her, but towards the situation.

“Oh Matt” she whispers taking a step closer to him, “I didn’t mean to _hurt_ you so much. I had my reasons and to me, they seemed rational. I was so used to being hurt that as soon as I saw that article I thought that you were going to hurt me too. I didn’t want you to have to live a life with someone so insecure. I’m no good for you, I wasn’t what you needed. You deserved someone who could give you everything you wanted and that wasn’t me.”

“I didn’t want anyone else. You’re all I needed.”

“I had to give you a chance to find someone. Someone your own age, someone who could give you children.” She said as tears slipped down her cheeks.

“What don’t you understand Alex? I. Did. Not. Want. Anyone else. You were it. Look at me now, two years on and alone.”

“But at least you got a chance to live. Go out and at least _look_ for someone else. I didn’t want you to stay with me, and years from now, look back and wish you had chosen someone different.”

Matt laughs at that, taking a step then closer to her and there was not much space between them now. “well thank you for the chance to live Alex, but there was never anyone else.”

Her head shoots up to look at him then, surely he  can’t mean that in two years he hasn’t been with anyone. “Don’t be silly Matt, of course there was- I mean there must have been.”

“No.” he states simply, “no one.”

“You assumed that I needed something else. You were so convinced that I didn’t love you. I think that hurt more than anything, that you didn’t even _know_ how much I loved you. You were so worried about me breaking your heart, you didn’t realise that in fact… you broke mine.”

He watches then as she looks up, hurt on her face but he has to tell her, how much she hurt him. He spent so long going over it in his head, it drove him mad for two whole years and she _has_ to know. She doesn’t say anything, just staring at him and he can see her brain working, thinking of what to say. In all truth, now that she’s there he just wants to take her by the hand and drag her to the bed. He wants to make up for all the time they were apart, but if he wants to be with her again, for the long term then he _has_ to talk this out.

“You didn’t come after me” she eventually says quietly.

“You told me not too, I wanted too, I did. But you bloody well told me not too.” Matt speaks, getting the smallest bit frustrated at her lack of words.

Alex again stays silent and fiddles with a ring on her middle finger. It frustrates him that she won’t look him in the eye for longer than 30 seconds, he wants to take her head in his hands and force her to just look at him. He waited long enough, he needs her to be his Alex, confident, sexy, always knowing what to say Alex.

“I should go” she whispers “I shouldn’t have come, I’m sorry.”

That’s when he gets really angry because he won’t let her just leave again.

“No!” he shouts as she goes to walk past him “No way. You cannot just walk out again. You can’t just fucking do that Alex. I waited, so, so long. I never thought I would see you again!”

“What do you want me to do Matt?” she asks her confidence clearly building, “There’s nothing left to say! I said sorry, I let you say your piece. That’s it now. It’s over.” She walks towards the door and if she thinks he’s going to let her go this time, she couldn’t be more wrong.

“It’s nowhere near over! It wasn’t over two years ago and it isn’t over now. I’ve been hurting for two fucking years and you cannot just turn up here and act as if that doesn’t matter. All this time I waited and you’re going to leave again? Hurt me like that again!” he all but shouts at the top of his lungs. This isn’t what he wanted, he didn’t want to argue, he wanted her back, he was determined that one day they would find each other again and start over. Now he isn’t so sure.

“I was hurt too! I got my heart broken too!” she screams.

“You left me!”

“I did it _for_ you!”

“I didn’t need you to do anything for me! I had everything I ever wanted.” He shouts, voice lower than before as he walks closer to her.

“Goodbye Matt” she says voice a completely different tone. Now she just sounds lost. She reaches for the door handle but he reaches her before she can leave.

“Jesus Alex, you can’t just- I won’t let you. You can’t leave me again- you just.”

Not knowing how to finish his sentence, he does the only thing he has wanted to do since he  set eyes on her at Stevens. He pulls her in to him by her wrist and captures her lips with his, instantly, as if she had expected it, she flings her arms around his neck and pulls him as close as she can. Matts hands find her waist, and he feels like he has waited a life time to feel her against him again.

Alex opens her mouth under his, allowing him access, their previous arguments forgotten, the two years spent apart a blur; Because now her lips are on his and he’s holding her while she whispers how sorry she is and how much she missed him, between kisses; it doesn’t matter any more. Nothing matters but her. But then he thinks, and he has to know…

He pulls away looking in to her eyes, “I missed you, every day I missed you. I need to know, that after this, you’re not going to get up a leave again. I need to know there isn’t anyone else. I can’t go through this and have you leave again.”

“Oh darling” she breathes her breath hot on his neck and sending shivers down his spine “There was never anyone else, I’m not going to leave again.” she says quietly, but it isn’t enough for him.

“Marry me” he says casually, but completely serious.

She pulls back out of his embrace then, total shock written on her face, “Wh- Matt what?!” she squeaks.

“I can’t lose you again. I need to know you won’t leave, and I need you to know that I’m in this forever. I want you with me for always.” He says, serious look on his face and taking her hands in his.

She’s shocked, completely shocked in to silence. As soon as she left all that time ago, all she has wanted to do is be back with him, and she realises now how insecure she has made him. She thought she wasn’t enough, but he loves her. After all she ‘s done he still loves her.

“It’s been two years darling, I could be someone different, we could have both changed, what if I marry you, and you realise that I’m not the person you thought I was. I don’t want you to go too fast.”

“I know who you are. I don’t know anyone better. I know that you haven’t changed at all. You still use the same perfume that hypnotises me. You wash you hair with the same strawberry shampoo you always have. You cry at anything remotely soppy on television. You love your daughter more than any mother I have ever known, and _oh_ Salome. It’s been so long. I missed you both so much.” He stops to just look at her, actually there, in front of him.

“I know that you like your tea with 3 sugars, and only the tiniest bit of milk. I know what you’ve bee through and I know how brave and strong you are. I have never loved someone more In my life. I know you more than I know myself.” He finally finishes and looks down at her to see yet again more tears spring to her eyes.

Without saying a word, she jumps up and wraps her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck and kisses him, with everything she has. When she pulls back, the smile on her face matches the one on his.

“Is that a yes?” he asks grinning widely at her.

“Oh you incredible man. My gorgeous Matthew. Of course it is, no more messing this up, I promise.”

He wastes no time frantically working the zipper at the back of her dress as their lips crash together once again. Alex is the same, trying to undo the buttons on his shirt with one hand. When he gets her dress down her torso, he hungrily kisses at her neck, finding the point that he knows makes her moan. It excites him so much, after so long, getting to know her all over again, not that he’s forgotten much, she’s all he thought about.

After finally getting his shirt off, Alex grind her hips against his and he groans in to the crook of her neck. Breathing heavily, Matt walks in the direction of the bedroom, where he used to dream of her coming back, and now here she is.

By the time they get to the bed, they are strewn of all their clothes and they aren’t even sure how that happened. Matt lays her on the bed carefully, before climbing over her. He pauses over her looking down her body and smiling like a child on Christmas.

“What?” she asks cheeks flushed red and a smile playing on her lips.

“Nothing” he says kissing her on the tip of her nose, “you’re just- I didn’t think you could get any more beautiful than you were, but now. Look at you” he breaths, “you’re gorgeous.”

Alex lets out a whimper before bringing his head down to hers and kissing him with battling tongues and clashing teeth. Matt reaches down her body and trails his hand over her breasts, and then down her torso until he reaches the place she needs him most. His fingers slide though her folds and he smiles, amused at how wet she is for him, how he missed that.

“God Lex” he breathes in to her ear, “So wet, you have missed me haven’t you?” he teases and she reaches a hand up to swat his arm.

“Shut up and get inside me will you” she says breathless and biting on her bottom lip to stop her moans of pleasure, “I think we’ve both waited long enough.”

Groaning low in her ear, Matt pushes her legs apart with his knees, before placing himself between her legs and lining his length up with her sex. He slowly enters her, inch by inch filling her, and the two of them gasp at the sensation. “Oh God darling” Alex moans, voice thick with arousal.

“I know” he whispers as he begins to move, but unlike their previous frantic movements, this is soft and slow. He places his forehead against hers, looking deep in to her eyes and smiling. She leans up and kisses him fully, just as he changes the angle of his thrusts and hits the spot that makes her cry out, and he swallows her scream.

It’s been so long for both of them, he knows that It isn’t going to be long. But that doesn’t matter, they’ve got the rest of their lives. Their movements become more frantic and the cries come more frequently.

“Oh God, Shit, darling” Alex groans and it’s almost Matts undoing. Feeling her inner walls begin to clench around him, Matt reaches down to find the small bundle of nerves. He presses down hard, and she cries out, coming with a cry of his name. Matt slowly loses his rhythm and when Alex comes back to herself she strokes along his back whispering words of encouragement in to his ear.

“Let go darling,” she whispers, “I’m here. I love you, I love you so much. I’ve got you”

“Oh god Lex, fuuck” he whispers before burying his head in her neck and shouting his release.

Matt collapses on top of Alex, completely exhausted but extremely happy. He rolls off of her and pulls her in to him, placing a kiss to the top of her curls.

“I love you” he whispers, pulling her closer, never willing to let go.

“I love you too” she whispers back playing with the small bit of hair at the nape of his neck.

“I don’t know what I’ll do if you leave again Lex.”  He says and her heart clenches at his child like tone.

“Shh, darling. I’m never going anywhere.” She whispers stroking his fringe away from his eyes.

“What about Salome? What about your home in LA?”

She smiles, “From now on, darling, my home is wherever you are. And as for Salome, well she loves you, she missed you so much. I don’t think she ever forgave me for leaving, for not letting her say goodbye. I was so selfish.”

“You were scared” he corrects.

“I hurt you” she says voice small.

“You came back” he smiles brightly.

Grateful to him for always making her smile, always making her feel better, Alex leans over him and places a light kiss to his lips. Then she curls in to him as he wraps his arms tightly around his waist. They know that they have a lot to figure out, but they can do it together and that’s all that matters.

The rest of that evening, they spend getting to know each other all over again. They speak about all they did in the two years they were apart and the two of them realise that really, nothing has changed at all. They still love each other more than either of them thought possible, they still laugh at silly things each of them do, and they still make each other happier than they have been before. They stay up till the early hours of the morning, making promises of what’s to come. That night, when they lay damp with sweat, limbs entwined, the two of them know that there is no place they would rather be. No other place that they belong, and the two of them fall asleep, holding each other close, adamant to never let go for long again.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Kudos and comments are wonderful Xx


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